生活剧场

belief

2009-09-18T22:33:00.002+08:00

It has really been very long since I met someone with positive thinking, or rather a postivie-minded person who is so influential that I feel motivated simply talking to him. Dunno since when, due to our busy schedule, all my friends, we don't really talk about what has been bothering us anymore. Even if we talk about personal problems, it will be something negative. We will grumble to each other about our problems, we console each other that things will turn out better unconvincingly. But tat person I met really shed some light on some new perspectives. and importantly, I found the long-lost feeling of having someone believe in me. lols. I miss the secondary school and JC days where close friends will motivate one another on the life journey.

admist the busy academic stress, I am really glad team Tiwala! is formed and the group bonds so well together!:))

随感

2009-08-30T22:32:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is a Mon again, the beginning of a week. and another round of Tiwala! interviews.. I wish I can go on a trip with most of them.. but seems tat we can't take in much..

yx! I am touched tat u still come ard almost daily although I know I deserted this blog for ages.. but tks, really.

最近翻了翻中三四的随笔，发现了其实那几年真的不知天高地厚，思想好正面，根本没有任何顾虑。但现在这一切却好像荡然无存。人们所谓年龄越大，顾虑越多，做事得顾前想后，想着想着，机会早就失去了。

有些东西，真的是想的容易，说的容易但做很难。

有不少朋友，我好想去关心，但因为忙，因为各种原因，顾前想后，最后还是做的不够。

saw smth on a blog tat brings back the teenage past:

如果我们之间有1000步的距离
你只要跨出第1步
我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步

通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人
才是真正爱你的人

付出真心　才会得到真心
却也可能伤得彻底
保持距离　就能保护自己
却也注定永远寂寞

有时候　不是对方不在乎你
而是你把对方看得太重

朋友就是把你看透了　还能喜欢你的人

就算是believe　中间也藏了一个lie

真正的好朋友
并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题
而是在一起　就算不说话
也不会感到尴尬

没有一百分的另一半
只有五十分的两个人

为你的难过而快乐的　是敌人
为你的快乐而快乐的　是朋友
为你的难过而难过的
就是那些　该放进心里的人

冷漠　有时候并不是无情
只是一种避免被伤害的工具

new stop in life

2009-08-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

Actually, I'm not sure whether anyone still reads this blog nowadays.. lols.

I seldom read blogs nowadays. Busy with fb, ft n philippines stuff. But, surprisingly, tdy I went blog reading, and the blogs tat I read are of depth and I love them.

When I started this blog, I remembered blogging about daily rants which are really irritating and of no substance. As I progressed, I wanted my blog to have some depth, so I told myself, Xin Hui, blog abt stuff which u think is worth blogging. And there, slowly n slowly, as the critera gets more stringent, less and less stuff got posted. At first, ppl asked me to update, saying that I haven't blogged for ages, after that, no one bothers cos no one reads it anymore. lols.

but yet, tdy I realised something. Blogging is not about depth and substance, a blog that regularly update ppl on wat u r doing, shares meaningful life lessons learned once in a while is sufficient to keep friends entertained. :)

and yes, I read wai mun, jiamin, ruilong, hx mama and yt's blog tdy. All of substance and depth. lols. n I must say wai mun is leaving me a feeling of envy and 崇拜。我崇拜的是她人生的际遇，洒脱的个性和独具一格的勇敢。

and hx mama, I really feel like telling you this: maybe we weren't close during TJ days, but I managed to hear quite a lot of you frm angel and ls:) and after the first aid lesson, what saddens me is that how come I didn't get to know you better earlier but have to wait till u r leaving for hk soon.. and I was really really v touched when u r so concerned abt me when u saw my fb status!!!!! tat was really the max, I regretted and wish I shld have put in the effort to build our friendship back in 2505 days. and hx mama, pls dun be too 彷徨k.. I dunno whether this describes ur feeling but I tink is the best word I could find. We will be there for you, when u r sad, think of us with CPR faceshields and bandages:) When tired or feel like having someone to tok to, can drop me an email anytime.. I will reply once I see it k.. jiayous for the next 5 mths k.. our hx mama survive and survive well~

2009-05-15T22:14:00.003+08:00

in a twitch of eye, haven't been blogging for 3 months..

went henderson waves with Jes, Angel and ls tdy.. its worth it!, although my legs are aching..:))

We had an enjoyable time walking thru the Alexandra Arch, followed by the Forest Walk, followed by hilltop walk, then to the henderson waves and lastly thru the marang rail!! :)

and once or twice in our conversations, we may touch on TJ days, our common memories.. Everytime we touched on the TJ memories, I do feel nostalgic, but at the same time, I feel that the memories are drifting further and further away.. dunno y.. although I know it will not come to a point that TJ memories may hold no imptance in time to come but the vividness, the importance of the memories seems to be fading away..

I want to hold on to the memories, but seems like it is not within my catch at all..

2009-02-02T22:57:00.002+08:00

usually dun like to blog abt daily ramblings.. but dunno y.. feel so much so today.. so I am here.

tdy is weird. Supposedly unlucky things happened today in a row.. but not so unlucky after all.

Anyway, things will be settled somehow. And I'm glad we r still making it for the Pangkor trip. yups, waiting for jes's reply and we r ready to go.

$38 for a perfect holiday dream. Is it worth it?

Buying dreams.. if only dreams can be bought.

2008-12-13T15:42:00.001+08:00

Blogging on my touchy :)

2008-12-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

Blogging on my touchy :)

2008-12-12T00:19:00.003+08:00

was on the mrt several days ago.. and sitting on one side of the train, I was looking out of the window opposite me. Realise the red MRT line does has nice scenery too.. along the Sembawang and Choa Chu Kang direction..

Because I am sitting opposite, I can only have a limited view of the view outside. We passed by buildings, greenery, lakes, reservoirs. It came to mind vividly that when I was younger, I would just climb onto the seat, kneel and look at the full scenery outside the window. I remembered just a beautiful picture outside would make me happy. I dun really noe exactly wat was happiness and unhappiness.To me, during that time, I was happy because I get to eat a Mac ice cream cone/get to play in the playground. I was unhappy when I got a scolding. Simple as that. Happiness and unhappiness can be a line away. Give me a scolding, I will cry. But give me a balloon, and I will break my tears into smiles.

As ppl gets older, things change. We know more and expect more. We start making unrealistic demands of others and of ourselves, making it hard to feel contented and satisfied. When u r unhappy, it gets difficult to make u smile. But when u r happy, it is relatively easy for u to frown.

Likewise, longing to go back into the past is an unrealistic demand. I no longer envy all the young children nor do I long to go back into time. Cos wat has happened has already happened. In fact, I am really grateful that I still have these beautiful memories to keep. They will be the force to keep me going.

2008-12-05T22:13:00.002+08:00

最近看了部觉得很不错的电视剧，名新不了情。

故事大纲看似老掉牙，但看了几集却不知觉继续追看了整部剧。

故事里的女主角是私生女，从小又得了白血病，因此遭到有钱的父亲抛弃。。
在大家都不存希望之际，她坚强的活了下来。。
母亲和舅舅在庙街卖唱，勉强糊口。同父异母的妹妹却含着金钥匙长大，要什么有什么。
十几年后，女主角长成了个个性开朗，乐观的女孩子，心中没存丝毫愤怒，妒忌。
她，知道生命的可贵，开心的过着每一天。。
眼前的日子是幸福的，和父亲继母相忍，找到了甜蜜的恋情，正在要结婚之际，她的病复发了。

正如女主角所说的，为什么这一切要发生在她最幸福的时候？
看着看着，为女主角感到阵阵心酸，跟着她的眼泪，我也不禁落泪。
我能明白，当一个人前头一片光明时，有着很多想要完成的事时，生命却不得以得喊停的那种感受。

就好像恐怖分子的一抢，让有着大好前景的女子丧命一样，人生无常，今天根本不知明天事。
在面对死亡的那一刻，我们以往的物质追求是否还是那么重要？金钱，地位，名利，是否还有意思？
人类再次显得肤浅渺小。我们可以发明一千一万件东西，却未必能逃过我们的宿命。
时间一到，我们也还是得上去报道。
我们可以把生活埋没在物质追求里，却在最后一刻恍然发现一切皆是空。
既然逃不过命运，那，就不理世俗眼光，follow your heart 好好活着吧，反正到头来，别人的看法也会变得不重要。

2008-11-30T21:53:00.002+08:00

suddenly feel tempted to share something that I found online.. tat really helps.. with a pinch of truth in it..

"What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good."

"It takes as much stress to be a success as it does to be a failure."

"You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was."

2008-11-30T21:31:00.002+08:00

didn't blog for a long time.. (but actually, I did. in a private blog)

was really happy tdy. haven't felt that for ages. Got a gd reward for myself. It was truly satisfying to indulge myself after the work. Was so busy with daily routines, worries, grumbles and all the ongoing negative thoughts that had no free moment to stop and think about life.

when I took a moment off tdy, realised how fortunate I had been.
realised everyone around me was too.
we are simply a fortunate bunch of ppl.

tdy thoroughly realised the meaning of '幸福是发自内心的'. One can have lots of riches and power but was never happy yet another can simply have a small house and enough money to get by but yet was grateful for everything he has, making him the happiest man in the world.

幸福也不能做比较..It's just an abstract, sweet, grateful feeling with no way to compare and no fair grounds of comparison.

幸福,存在就好.

2008-09-20T18:08:00.002+08:00

There are a lot of things in life which we have to experience, to deal with and most importantly to look clearly at..

We pursue what is important to us. However, this importance is actually given by us. Wealth, fame, power, their importance depends on how heavy our emphasis is. Without any concern for monetary issues, wealth becomes an unimportant issue. Without any desire for power, power becomes something that we think we can do without with. All the important things in our life are actually defined by us. We spent our lives pursuing these so-called important goals. More often than all, with desires comes troubles. We are the source of our troubles. It is definitely not wrong to pursue achievement, power, fame, wealth, but what is more important is that make sure that we don't regret our choices from then on. Only our regrets will render all our pursuations and efforts useless.

So what if your goals are common and superficial like all the others, fame, power, wealth etc? As long as you have no regrets in pursuing that, that will be the most worthwhile effort you will make.

It's really all in you.

2008-08-08T23:05:00.004+08:00

busy, but will continue cos this is the way to discipline myself.

Happy Birthday, Singapore!! National Day feels weird with the clashing of Olympics this year.

Was excited about Olympics today suddenly.. and all the kids hummings' of Nationl Day songs brings me back to the days when we learn to sing the patriotic songs in school.. I feel strange sense of excitement because National Day is near.

My life has been a roller coaster because I had allowed it to do so, refusing to give myself a chance to see things in a positive light. But at least, for now, I feel so light, relieved, happy and grateful.. Things are more in control, because I have freed, have forgiven myself. Living a life full of hope is satisfying. I may not have everything in this world, but I am contented with what I have.

TX, forget about the things that aren't even your fault in the 1st place. Forgive your former self who has made life so miserable for your ownself..

2008-06-15T21:17:00.001+08:00

假如失去了人生的意义，你我会选择什么处理方式？
当我们存在这世上已没意思，沮丧的我们会选择以自寻短见的方式来催促自己的死亡，还是勇敢的面对所有难题，把明天活得更好？

人生之所以失去了意义，是因为在日常生活中有诸多解不开的难题困扰着当事人。。
当一个人有了太多不敢去面对的事，太多没勇气去面对的人，心里既烦恼又害怕
而这心里的恐慌，却是没人能轻易了解和解除的。

今天，弟弟的一个朋友企图自杀。对这件事的第一反应是为什么这么不珍惜性命？但后来了解事情后才发现情有可原。。
虽然我常常不能了解弟弟那班朋友的想法和举动，但我却能理解他对父母的不谅解感到多么的沮丧。。
有些事可能发生的突然，事与愿违，但却久久无法得到亲人们的谅解。当只剩孤军一人在打仗时，脆弱的人类很容易万念俱灰，萌起结束生命的念头。。

每个人在人生抉择的十字路口上的选择不一，更没有具体的对与错。有些人会选择提早为生命划下句点，有些人会选择编一个美丽的谎言来蒙蔽自己，
一辈子活在自欺欺人中，还有些人会拿出最大的勇气去正视问题，因困难而活得更积极。。

以上最后一型的勇者，好说却不易当，属于少数。而从懦夫蜕变成强者，也不是人人都办得到的。

这事件充分显示了人类是脆弱的，也希望弟弟的朋友能够从这事得到启发，得到继续活下去的勇气。

2008-06-14T08:21:00.002+08:00

Hi, peeps..

I am now trying out as tuition coordinator.. so if any of u re interested in giving tuition, pls give a tag here..and the area u live in so that I can let u noe any job offers in the fastest time possible.. Thanks!

2008-06-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

a lot of times, it is easy to come up with hundreds and hundreds of logical, noble reasons to explain for everything that have happened..

you can be persuaded, for one thing..

but are you convinced?

that's another issue.

sometimes, I just dunno what to do with life.

零碎的记忆，真诚的感动。。

2008-05-28T02:35:00.004+08:00

really v touched today.. very very....

小孩子因天真而可爱，因无知而直率，他们的每一句话，都反映他们最真诚的想法。。这样的他们，让我羡慕，更让我感动。。

从无到有，这些日子来，无论是我们的关系或你们的功课，看着你们一天天的进步，心里好高兴。。

有一次在教你华文时，以为你没把名字写完，于是问你：“你叫李睿什么” 你脸上立刻出现好奇的表情，用你那满英文腔的华语问我：“为什么你懂我的名字？”那一刻，你真的很可爱！！！！！！！

今天，当我要回家时，你们跑来抱我，说一定要在我回家前抱我一下，听了，心里马上觉得很窝心。。泡着我的时候起，你们其中一人开口激动地问：“Xin Hui, will you be here forever? Will you be here forever and ever??"

就是这一些零零碎碎的记忆及感动，让我决定留了下来。。从你们身上，我得到了最实在，最美的领悟。。你们是我最脆弱无助时给了我所需的快乐与满足。。希望你们天天开心快乐。。esp my little angels: Bern,Ig, Evan, Zong Han, Oliver, Aliaster, Traver, Kerlyn~~ :))

2008-05-19T18:32:00.002+08:00

Blood Typle AB

Advantages:
sensitive, proud, diplomatic, discriminating, easy-going, sympathetic, efficient, learns quickly
Disadvantages:
short-tempered, complains, dependent, moody, brooding.
Facts: Roughly 4% of the world is AB negative and 1% AB positive.

Traits:
Laid back and outgoing, shy and assertive ,a blend of opposites. Unpredictable, compelling may seem to have calm exterior. Introvert and extrovert friends find them dependable but they may rebel if they are overwhelmed. Unpredictable in social situations sometimes shy with some, bold with others. Strong creative strain. Artist/performer. Everything they do is compelling.

Drawn to psychology, astrology, fortune telling, spiritual. Good politician or diplomat. Could be too flexible. Good at spotting problems and averting them. Likes city environments, but may feels claustrophobic. Home must have elements that inspire thought and action. Social, subdued and torn in many directions. Successful at what they do.

Summary: Is mysterious, rational, economical, efficient, often critical, analytical, unemotional, original, likes to be alone, gets bored quickly, has good interpersonal skills and contributes harmoniously with society. Well aware of his or her surrounding environment, hates the instinctive feelings, critical, never takes things to the limit or to the best of his or her ability, tries to be useful to other people. Dislikes to be touched by others.

Cool analysis..

2008-05-11T16:44:00.002+08:00

**exciteds**

hahas.. I am looking forward to days of visiting all the architecture I would see..

and I have been boggle-ing.. lols.. trains my mind power.. lol. and turning me into a person with high need of cognition.. :))

2008-05-02T15:02:00.004+08:00

A good story which makes me touched no matter how many times I read it..

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly one hundred thousand women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong,Berth: son. Forest, Majorie: daughter"
"Rudledge, Carrie: twins..give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a blind child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a child with a handicap to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of sealf-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."
"But, God, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps. "Selfsihness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child ocassionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realise it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind , she will see it as few people ever see m creations.
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-ignorance, cruelty, prejudice- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of everyday of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

Comfort Words 1

2008-05-02T14:19:00.002+08:00

Always enjoy the feeling of having a good book on hand, to accompany you through the toughest, the dullest, the busiest days of life..

and chicken soup is always a good choice.. lols..

anyway, here are some nice extracts from the book I have finished which have offered me great comfort through tough times..:

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
and you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twist and turns
as every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is a failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst, that you must not quit.

"Each of us has the right and responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have travelled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarassment, we must be ready to change that as well..."

Peseverence

When all the world is looming dark
and things seem not so clear,
When shadows seem to hover' round
May I persevere.
When it seems everything's been tried
And there's no way to go,
Just let me keep remembering
Sometimes the journey's slow
I may just need to stop and rest
Along the path I trod,
A time to try to understand
And have my talk with God.
As I gain new strength to carry on
Without a doubt or fear,
Somehow I know things will be right,
And so, I persevere.

"Be not afraid of going slowly. Be afraid of standing still.."

"Everyone has problems: single parents, young folks, old folks, married people, unmarried people. It isn't the problems themselves that are harmful. It's letting them block you from feeling the powerful force that God had given you to compensate for them.."

"The only guaranteed moment is this one; therefore, if we live our lives expecting a future that may not exist, we may regret our choices forever.."

Sorrow

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all,
and it often comes with bitter agony.
Perfect relief is not possible,
except with time.
You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better.
But this is not true.
You are sure to be happy again.
Knowing this,
truly believing it,
will make you less miserable now.
I have had enough experience to make this statement.

"Neve afraid to be afraid..Fear is never a reason for quitting; it's only an excuse. When a brave man encounters fear, he admits it-and goes on despite it.."

"You listened to fear and you fell.."

"You can't control what life dishes out. You can only choose how you deal with it, and who stands up with you.."

"I celebrate
Making plans
Dreaming
The hoping that goes with having a future.

I celebrate life..."

迷路兵

2008-05-02T13:48:00.001+08:00

路

我们都该回头看看来时路
就算起风偶尔有雾模糊不了幸福
我们都该在心里数数感动的次数
谁陪你疯谁陪你笑拍拍肩一起追逐

多少爱错过了才看清楚
多少事无法弥扑才认输
多少次以为找到了幸福
却发现一开始就是个错误

每一段路都是一种领悟
珍珠再夺目留不住心头热呼呼
真心的鼓舞能温暖一生的旅途
每一段路难免荆棘密布
把坚持牢牢握住不怕艰难险阻
学会去爱就不会迷路

2008-04-30T15:34:00.004+08:00

2nd day after exams..

a bit bored? but nevertheless, it still makes a gd recharge period.

I need a gd 3 mths recharge period..desperately.. lol. uni is taxing..

and to re-think my priorties.

I wish sometimes, tat I could go back time.

but there are also times when I am enjoying what I am doing now.

Uni is turning me into someone with a high need of cognition.

and I'm lovin' it.

finally, some sense of grown up.

2008-04-24T23:19:00.002+08:00

最近又想了很多。

回想起这二十年的生活旅程，真的发现生活有好多变化。

人，随着时间长大，背负在身上的责任也无形中加重了。

但，却也换来了自由，自主与自律。

从错误中学习，从挫折中吸取经验，才有今时今日的自己。。

可谓有得有失，有赢有输。

顿时间，我真分不出是我赚了，还是。。。

从一开始，我是个平凡人，却有着和平凡人不一样的顾虑。

这二十年，感觉上我已经经历了好多，
如果我还有多几个二十年，我的人生将会如何发展，老天还会让我经历什么。。

是否会是这二十年的复本，让我再经历一遍？

我，真怕会是这样。。。

2008-04-19T19:03:00.001+08:00

快乐，是种不简单的领悟。

2008-04-17T23:40:00.002+08:00

a failure finds no meaning in life.

and I am her.

密阳

2008-04-01T01:57:00.004+08:00

ok, just a small brk b4 I start on my politics essay and presentation for next week.. real busy with meeting deadlines for the past 2 weeks.. just finished hp203 and hp202.. woah......暂时可以喘一口气了。。but sadly, it wun be long..

but nvm, time will go, days will pass.. deadlines and exams will be over b4 I noe it.. 乐观点！！ho ho..

recently thought of a lot of things.. dunno y.. 我就说自己不是个平常人，没有颗平常心。。不过，在想开的那一霎那，我却觉得自己成长了好多。。接下来的道路更清楚，更focused..

anyway, watched Secret Sunshine密阳。。基本上是一部看的过去的电影，但却因为之前太多的宣传与得奖新闻，抹盖了观众对这部电影应有的公平看待。。公平看待它是部简单，没有大来头的电影。如果我是部电影，或许我最怕的，就是欠缺观众公平的眼光。。得了奖，我得了荣耀，却失去了电影自身表达给观众的故事情节与情感的能力。那，我还算是部电影么？

anyway, for the movie, I was quite shocked when they started preaching Christianity..I didn't noe it.. (well, I go in for 全度妍) It was awkward, I admit.. but when she starts to 'take revenge' on God, tat part is.. interesting, I tink..

stop here, back to ha205..

结局

2008-03-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

如果人生是一场戏，那在我的戏一定充满挣扎，无奈，无助。
明明这么好胜，对‘人定胜天’这四个字深信不疑，但，命运却始终爱开我的玩笑，
让故事发展往往不再控制范围内，和我唱反调。

我不信邪，我的戏，结局由我自己决定。

CNY 2008

2008-02-09T06:46:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is over.. and it's time to get back to reality. Mid term starts in a week time.. time to start doing some constructive revision..

and for all the junk I had cramped into my stomach for these 2 days, it will need at least a week of healthy eating to get rid of the toxins. lol.

had a marvellous time with my materal family yesterday. :) Everyone was so high! Had the feeling that everyone have bonded close back together again.. everyone have at least some common topics and tools like mahjong and poker bond us nicely.. lol it's a warm and nice feeling.. :)

事事无完美，只要接近完美，我，就满足了。就是现在，我珍惜，满足于拥有的一切一切。往后的路，没人可以预料。人生，不会随着时间的流逝就累积更多的‘财富’。我们的‘财富’，其实是有保存日期的。过了期，我们将会失去那相关的一切。。

就因为我的下一刻，有可能拥有的比这一刻还少，所以，我非常珍惜。

2008-02-07T02:23:00.000+08:00

happy CNY 2008!

I actually feel like drinking these few days.. I dunno y.. I like to drink when I'm troubled. Alcohol drives away my trouble to some extent.. and the 8% alcohol tat we had isn't enuf to satisfy.. I'm craving for MORE.

to think I had indigestion from eating too much taiwan muah chee.. had it for 2 meals.. over 20 muah chees in a day!! No wonder I suffered frm bloatedness and gastric..

but I still love it. hahs. I dun care. I know it's something tat can be bought all yr round. But I prefer to make it a once a year snack.. hahs.. link it with New Year to enjoy the atmosphere cum food.. lol. (the same reason for pineapple tarts)

and I am getting sick of egg rolls, kueh bangkit and all the other stuff. My all-time favourites are only almond cookies, pineapple tarts, muah chee and bak gua.

Mummy actually gave an increment for my hongbao money this yr!! hoho!! :))

had a damm nice reunion dinner just now too.. all the yummy food tat I like. It's rated as the best in the last 5 yrs.. hahs.. cos it has the least foods that I dun like..lol. picky eater me. LOL.

and one more thing, if I am gg to touch any more nuts (peanuts, cashew nuts, almonds) I tink I am gonna vommit. Again, it is a result of eating too much till u r sick of it..

Now, I gonna turn in with my new pajamas!!!

such an interesting new year.. lol.

Happy CNY everyone!!!!!!

一封信

2008-01-27T13:57:00.000+08:00

人生可能就是个大戏院，每分每秒都在上映着一出出故事内容截然不同的戏。有些表面看似没什么意义，有些催人热泪，更有些发人深省。人生如戏，戏如人生，这话一点都不假。

在人生的旅途中，我们都无时无刻的在学习。不管你经历了多少磨练，遇到多少挫折，再坚强都好，人生的奥妙就在于它能让你在生命的不同阶段都有所领悟，好好地为你接下来的旅程铺路。

上天把每个人都塑造的不一样，不同样貌，不同个性，不同际遇。也因为如此，大家的处事态度浑然不同。在烦恼与挫折的面前，有些人选择了逃避，有些选择了默默承受，更有些人选择了坦然去面对现实。逃避也好，面对也罢，只要是自己的选择，根本就没有所谓的对与错。

最近身旁的人告知我一件事，让我颇有感受。大家在成长过程中难免会遇到少许的困扰与问题，而大家选择处理的方式让我感兴趣。自己虽然还没过那个青春期，但也已经体验了一大半。记得当时敏感时期，我从没向家人坦白过对他们的感受。虽然觉得他们不够了解我，不够关心我，但我都把心事往肚子里吞，直到受不了才一个人在深夜里哭泣。现在长大了，就因为意识到自己的言行对身边的人有着一定的影响，所以，有心事向家人诉苦，也会先过滤，哪些该说，哪些不该说，得分得清楚些。身边的人肯与你分享烂摊子，已是一种奢侈。就算事不关己，别人也很可能因为你的心事所影响而闷闷不乐。能轻易解决的问题还好，如果是你我他都无能为力的问题，那该怎么办？如果遇上了这类不能轻易解决的事，加上和身边的人有着直接的联系，说了出来明知会伤害他们，就不该知不可为而为之。闷在心里多么辛苦，也不要说出来。何苦去伤害一个对事情全不知情的人，何况是自己至亲的人？

但从另一角度出发，也羡慕那些能把话摊开来说，坦荡荡面对问题的人。他们的勇气和决心不是一般人所能拥有的。这类人往往能让一些在生活中迷途的羔羊反省，给与他们启示。正如一些人所相信的：面对不一定最难过。而我相信，勇于面对的人，拥有了比一般人更多要解决问题的决心。最近，我因身边的一个人而感到骄傲。看到她，仿佛看到了几年前的自己。。感觉有点怪怪，好像用旁观者的角度来看以前的自己。事过境迁，人变，思想跟着变。看着眼前的一切，感觉有点幼稚，（因为明白眼前的一切都是过渡期）却非常真实。但她，选择用了最直接，最具爆发力的方法来解决问题，顿时让我傻眼，但也意识到她经历了这一段后，又完成了成长旅途的一部分。我欣赏她那一举两得的解决方案，虽然危险，但却给自己，和亲人都上了宝贵的一课。解除了这个障碍，眼前的路能走得更顺畅。希望她以后走的路，就算曲折，也是值得的。在此献上深切的祝福。

2008-01-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

刚刚又对家人发飙了。不是故意，但眼泪就是不听话。我的好朋友又在作怪了。
and to tink tat b4 I break down, my mom just had a quarrel with my
dad..and I completely am unaware of it.

再次，又让我觉得妈妈是个很了不得的人。我这么爱她其中的一个原因是因为无论发生什么事，她都会无条件的相信我们。她有她的顾虑，但at the end of the day, 她还是会全力挺我们到底。有心事时，她当然也想知道，但如果我们不愿多谈，她也会尊重我们的决定，不再多问。遇到问题时，她会帮我们想办法解决。这些年来，她给于我们的自由，自主与尊重是我们所珍惜与感谢的。

她可能永远都不会读到这篇文章，但还是想对她说：谢谢你，妈妈！

2008-01-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

finally went to queue for the popular donuts.. hahs.. bought it to share with the kids at the tuition centre.. and it is really worth it, delicious.. maybe it is just wat ppl say tat food tastes nicer when u r sharing it with others.. lol.

emotionally tired. Kept recalling what was I doing at this time of the year 365 days ago.. dunno y.. to some extent, I feel like going back to work again cos u never get to take ur troubles home at work. Everything started and will get settled in the workplace. You wun need to bother abt this and that after working hours. The 典型的‘上班一条虫，下班一条龙。hahs.

最近可能需要很多time to be alone. hitting a rough patch. but 一切终究会过去。
加油了，董欣惠！

给天使们的一封信。

2008-01-23T00:29:00.000+08:00

现在的心情特别高兴，好久没有这种心情了。哈哈。

只为一句话。原来小孩子真有让人心情愉快的能力。因为在你们身上找到曾经拥有的天真与无邪，
所以更珍惜与你们相处的每一分每一秒。相处的时间并不长，但感觉却已像亲人。。好像如果明天我就要离开你们，自己会哭死一样，难过得要命。就是这个感觉，我知道，我已爱上可这份差事。。

感谢你们，让我再次感到幸福，让我的生命精彩起来。。每次和我分享学校里所发生的趣事，你们叙述事情的经过，再附上生动的动作，我都好想听，好爱听，让我回到了十年前的时光。。在生日会上，当你们其中一个小朋友从口袋里掏出两个五角硬币说要送给那两名寿星公时，心里的感动是满满的。仿佛找回了心里久违了的温暖。人啊，是需要常被提醒的。当我因忙碌的生活而渐渐的遗忘了用心来体会这个世界时，谢谢你们的提示。在没有任何金钱或利益的冲突下，我也见识到了人与人彼此间最真诚最纯正的友谊。如此宝贵兼难得。可能你们并不晓得，从加入这个大家庭的第一天，我同大家一起踏上了我们的学习之旅。对于一些人与事，采用简单，明了的方式来看待它，往往能有更深刻的领悟。放下早开放下的，珍惜在眼前但却一直被我们忽略的一切，老实说，谈何容易。但，我真的很珍惜你们。

你们给与我的真的很多，而我，也希望同样能给你们一样多。。

永远最可爱的天使们，希望你们天天快乐。

忆。当年

2008-01-13T11:22:00.000+08:00

回去读了一两年前的blog entries.. 哈哈，不读还不晓得，现在觉得当时的我有点幼稚，啼笑皆非。

当然，事过境迁，我们看事情的角度与态度都不同，轻松些，也准确些。。往往，如果当时的决定不是这样，那还会不会造就今天的我们？可能吧，也许人生就像是交通网路，就算不走这条路，也有另一条路通往目的地。。

今年，没赶在2008来临前写下新年新希望，是因为。。觉得今年的希望和往年差不多，大概都一样。。有些希望是往年没做到，一年一年，累积下来，再把它写在新的一年的希望里，也没什么意思。心里知道，然后由行动达到，比写下一千遍一万遍来的重要。

不过，过去这一年，我领悟也得到了些难能可贵的收获。现在的我对亲人，多了份珍惜，和他们的关系也大大地改善了。最重要的是，在2007里，我领悟了光说无凭，以实际行动证明的道理。

07是我重生的一年，往后的日子，我都会非常珍惜，把每天活得更好。。

2008-01-11T12:08:00.001+08:00

it's the first week of sch and I have already ponned 2 lectures.. kudos to me.. MUAHAHAHAHAAS.. lol.

anyway, it's the add/drop period now.. just read jiamin lao niang's blog and agreed with her on staying tuned to STARS so that you will be able to snatch up any vacancies the moment ppl dropped theirs.. lol.

decided to take 6 modules this sem.. must study le! and tupid, y must psy modules tut be placed on fridays? and furthermore, it's in the afternoon.. haiz.. and my 4 day wk timetable dream have to fly away.. thanks to hw111...

I doubt there are any more changes to my modules for this sem.. can't get into them anyway.. vacancies are so hard to get..

This sem, I'll be taking:
GD03 S'Pore Architecture:The His,Cultural & Soc-Econ Perspectives
17317 HP200 Research Design And Data Analysis In Psychology
17813 HA205 Government And Politics Of Singapore
17330 HP202 Developmental Psychology
17336 HP203 Social Psychology
17521 HW111 Mastering Communication

I can't wait for architecture module to start.. :)
gd luck for bidding, NUS pals!

2007-12-23T02:25:00.000+08:00

冬至，温暖牌汤圆。。

2007-12-13T16:09:00.000+08:00

好久没写博客了，没得记录心情点滴。

近况不错，忙着趁着假期和老朋友，旧同事聚一聚，也让自己have some time alone to myself..时间过得非常的写意。。假期得来不易，是该好好的利用。哈哈。

最近，不知道为什么，好像较注重spiritual..觉得满足心灵上的需要比那些所谓实际的物质需要来的更重要，更有用。至少得到心灵上的满足，让我整个人轻松愉快不少，更有精力去迎接接下来更美好的生活。。：）

近日最让我开心的事，莫过于又和Singtel的一些旧同事又联络上了。尤其是经常陷入M.I.A 状态的Miss Morbid和Miss Jo。。收到她们的简讯答复，感到好开心。不知不觉，又到了十二月，一年的尾端。再过十几天我们就要送走2007，应接2008。2007 也将被我们永远纳入记忆和回忆里，由实际变成虚拟。。

文字，总能让人多愁善感，多份对人生的感慨，少份对现实的执著。。

2007-11-30T07:08:00.000+08:00

又是雨天的季节..
下雨天,多愁善感日.

2007-11-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

Exams are over. and I shan't comment on it. Not extremely happy.. relieved though. With exams over, it leaves me with sufficient time to think things over. Some things won't disappear even if we avoid thinking about it. No choice, guess head on will be the solution.

seriously, have anyone tot of how strong they will be in times of difficulties, in the face of reality? I pondered over this.. I really have no idea how strong I will be.. not very, I suppose. I am actually vulnerable. That's y I admired strong willed people.. I aspire to be strong minded like them.

anyway, enough. gg to be a drama freak again. : )

2007-11-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

had my frst psy paper tdy.. and it is interesting.. my stress level is 0.. completely nth.. I dun feel any stress.. in fact, I felt quite confident.. but it turned out that I dunno quite a lot of stuff.. still, I remained unaffected.. dunno whether tat's a gd phenomenon..

my wisdom tooth hurts.. again. this time, it is the right side.. u will see me wincing every time I try to swallow my saliva.. tat hurts too.. pls.. let the pain subside.. I am having my EXAMS!!!! argh.

2007-10-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

seriously I can foresee myself in deep SH**..

2007-10-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

"When you want something, the whole Universe conspires to help you realise your desire." - The Alchemist

"The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And no heart ever suffered when it went in search of its dreams." - The Alchemist

"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose." - The Fifth Mountain

"Defeat exists, but not suffering. A true warrior knows that when he loses a battle he is improving the skill with which he wields a sword. He will be able to fight moe skilfully next time." - By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept

"Choosing one path means abandoning others - if you try to follow every possible path you will end up following none." - Brida

"The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny." - The Devil And Miss Prym

"We have a tendency to see those things that do not exist and to be blind to the great lessons that are right vefore our eyes." - The Pilgrimage

"When we put off the harvest, the fruit rots but when we put off our problems, they keep on growing." - The Fifth Mountain

"Ifyou go around promising what you do not yet have, you will lose the will to achieve it." - The Alchemist

"Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person." - Eleven Minutes

"We must make the most of the times when luck is on our side and do everything to help it just as it is helping us." - The Alchemist

2007-10-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

lust. caution is real gd regardless whether it is largely censored or not. Gd becos of Ang Lee, of Tony Leung, of Tang Wei and of the old shanghai setting. I simply love the setting right from the first scene of the movie.. but of cos, it will be best if we get to watch the full uncut version.

Tang Wei is one newcomer who really noes how to act in comparison to Lee Hom.. A pity that Wong Lee Hom's acting is a bit too stiff inside.. dunno y.. I just feel like giggling when I hear him speak his lines.. In fact, Tang Wei may be better than Zhang Ziyi.. and she is mesmerising as Mai tai tai.. and again, Tony Leung had lived up to expectations.. he is a superb actor who will bring you into the world of Yi.. a traitor, cold on the surface yet has a heart filled with intense emotions.. You wun get the chance to hate him. Instead, chances are u will feel sympathetic him, for the true love he and Tang Wei shared..

I can strongly feel for every tear that Tang Wei and Tony Leung shed.. from seducing Yi for the sake of the country to falling in love with him.. Tang Wei had sucessfully protrayed the emotional struggles well.

Ang Lee is indeed a gd storyteller.. the sequences flow smoothly with no awkward interruptions.. However, there are some parts which are too draggy but those are the essential parts that explain the story events towards the later part of the story.. so overall, I wld give the movie 8.5/10.. worth the tix price.. + buying the dvd too if it's the uncut version.. : )

2007-09-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

it's 2.24am in the morning.. and I am not the least sleepy.. well, I'll be in deep trouble tml.. will be foreseeing myself having problems staying awake.. lol.

anyway, just had a chat with my uncle in Seattle.. didn't know how impressive he is until we chatted.. lol. he is one with loads of valuable life experiences which money couldn't buy. and seriously I envy him.. just like I envy a lot of other people.. for the things they had dared to do, for the courage they have shown when they faced resistance, for the sheer determination they have shown in times of of difficulties..

Actually, I'm having mood swings lately.. which I wonder y.. (since I ended my diet long ago.) but in the mist of these unpredictable emotions, I am having this strange feeling that I can't help feeling helpless about. I am already 19 (if I realise) and I've got this feeling of holding on desperately to time, to memories, to reality, to everything possible like if I am able to stall time and preserve it all in this moment.. the most probable explanation for this, is that I have realised I have not much time left to play ard.. now is the acceleratory phase of life, and if not cautious enough, I'll end up wasting my precious life away.. soon, in the nick of time, decades will pass as if it is only days.. we will soon greet each other with our wrinkles and saggy skin.. ageing signs will only get more obvious, no matter how good our concealing skills are. lol.

yup, maybe life is like tat.. but I guess the sense of urgency is better than none. at least it is an indication that I am not lagging behind time.

2007-09-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

wonder if anyone rmb this? it's gg to be another year.. mid autumm is round the corner again.. I am still keeping my blue zhu long.. how abt u guys?

2007-09-18T09:54:00.000+08:00

forget abt assignments, presentations, all the quizzes and mid term papers for a moment. Term break is round the corner.. and my mind is only occupied on tat.. WOOHOO!! haha.. will be duper ultra happy this week.. cos I am looking so forward to the long awaited break.. after 6 wks of academic life.. haha.. Van, ying, we can start planning our kbox trip le!.. haha!!

and I concluded: Spanish has really got me hooked on it.. it is so fun and interesting to take it up!! : ) happy happy.. haha..

iHasta Luego, ppl!! : )

2007-09-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

times flies.. once again, the aptness of this phrase has outweighed its clicheness....

without anyone realising (or u did realise..), 911 is a 6 yr old incident.. still had a vivid memory of the classroom scene on 11/9/2001.. Mr Khoo came in, looking serious and start telling us abt the incident.. Slow as I was, I didn't have any idea what he's toking abt nor have any idea of the seriousness of the matter.. until tat nite.. when I watched the news.. I rmb I have completely no idea what he is toking about for the whole period of lesson. Pardon me, but I didn't even noe the existance of World Trade Centre in New York City then.. so u see, I wasn't aware and in fact did not tink much of the incident then.. It was the aftermath where ppl kept discussing abt it that I came to noe wat World Trade Centre is and its role in America's economy etc. From then on, the word 'terrorist' topped the chart for its 'popularity' worldwide.. It is most probably the most frequent word used globally all these while. Due to the media's high frequency of mentioning, 911 incident seems so near, not like a 6 year old incident.. One of the reasons why I didn't tink much of the incident then was because I cannot fully comprehend the sadness experienced by the victims' families.. Today, 6 yrs ltr, I took a better understanding to this matter.. I sympathize with the families of the innocent victims and wish could offer them the deepest condolences. Time has passed, ticking away but the emotional trauma and scar will be there to stay.. It is a chapter in Mankind's civilisation history that should never be forgotton. Let us calm our hearts, cleanse our thoughts and reflect on our actions. May we be gain enlightenment by the events that happen all these years and be bestowed with the power to cease all evil in our hearts..

2007-08-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

my first entry frm my laptop.. lol.. shall be a short entry.. uni life is starting to to get real busy.. just rush out my marketing ppt slides, script undone yet and presentation is Mon.. oh dear.. and not to mention how much I am lagging behind in other modules.. argh.. gotta jiayou le..

tired.. and tired.. but still, marketing is fun. : )

2007-07-31T15:00:00.000+08:00

my singtel colleagues..

回不去的从前，叫做回忆。

the best things in life are free.. I wonder how many had forgotten tat..

I just wanna go feel it again.. just before everything starts..

let the pics speak for me.. for once..

2007-07-27T11:00:00.000+08:00

“没有人会永远迁就你。。”
“这个世界没有欠你什么，没有人有义务为你做任何事。。”

my faves esp the 2nd one.. although I looked unconvinced by your explanation, but actually u noe I have already been taken in by ur views. haha. 口里那些辩解只是不想让自己输得太难看。。lol..

“这个世界没有欠你什么，没有人有义务为你做任何事。。”

I used to think the world of parents.. huge responsibility, heavy burden, gd role models, pillars of support for their children. everything. Well, now I still do. but there is just a shift of mindset that parents dun owe their kids anything. haha. esp to those demanding kids who tink their parents owe them everything. lol. Well, I am quite ashamed to say, but tink that used to me.. haha. but I am giving myself a pat on the shoulder for changing tat. : )

When the love becomes too overwhelming, the most effective way to express it is to say it out verbally. Of cos actions must follow suit after tat.. but 对于那个你爱着的人，你留下的不是瞬间情绪的波动，而是一世的感动，一辈子的甜蜜。。

有你们在身边，是我这辈子最幸福的事。。

2007-07-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

如果问我什么是快乐，我会在人生的什么时候才会有如此感觉，
答案铁定是现在。。。还有往后接下来的日子。

忽然之间似乎明白了幸福和满足之间紧密的关系。

搞什么，我竟然用了大半年，六个月，一百八十天的时间才领悟此道理，a~bish*@#
不过，又想了想，好在迟来了好过没来。haha..

work ended at Aviva nearly 2 wks ago.. and life currently is 100% stress free for me!! wahaha.. I am so satisfied with my present situation, my everyday life that I am cherishing everyday to the fullest.. heh.

Life is pretty routine everyday, I must say.

5.45am - Wake up
6.00am - Jogging (I am really afraid I dun even have the stamina to chase after buses if I dun do some exercise..)
7.15am - Reading of papers + Bathe
8.30am - Hit the bed again (The fave pastime of a pig (me) is to slp..and then slp again.. lol)
10.00am - Watch old TCS show "Blk 168", breakfast
11.00am - down to Fairprice/market to buy the groceries that I require (since I am so free.. lol)
1.00pm- Lunch
1.00pm -6.30pm - Time spent in front of com
6.30pm - Fix dinner
7.00pm - 10.00pm - Be a couch potato
10.00pm - 1.00pm - Lie in bed with some music and a gd bk in hand

my timetable everyday for the past 2 wks.. relaxed and stress free.. although unhealthy.. lol. but I dun care.. I have no idea how life will be after uni starts. Saw lots of teens in their sch uniforms recently and I realised how difficult it is to imagine myself donning the uniform again.. in fact, I can't even imagine.. see what had the 6 mths done to us.. lol.

2007-07-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

without realising, it is already mid July 2007.. 2007 is already half gone. can't help exclaiming "Wow~".. lol. was angry at first, because I didn't seem to achieve much during these 7 mths.. Gelare for the first mth, Singtel for the subsequent 3 mths, rest for the 30 days after that..and Aviva work after that. Ta-da~~ 7/12 of the yr gone. lol. was lamenting that maybe the time will better be spent in sch.. at least it wun feel so wasted. However, upon deeper thinking, views and perspectives start to change. These 6 mths had seen some maturity in my character. Work allowed me to meet up with different types of ppl and have a taste of what it is like in the working world out there. I met ppl who I am disguisted with, but at the same time ppl who are inspiring to a great extent.. ppl who I am extremely grateful to and ppl who I had seen their true colors..
I am extremely lucky, I must say. But I very much treasure everything in my possession now. These few mths have fully taught me how to treasure and cherish what I am having now. I am very contented with my possessions in life and it can't be any better. Now the holiday is coming to an end, sch's starting soon! I can't say I am very excited but I am really passionate abt psychology and it is something that I know even if u let me choose another 100 times, the answer will still be it..

chanced upon a few chi quotes, they may be cliche but it still works.

获致幸福的不二法门是珍视你所拥有的、遗忘你所没有的

贪婪是最真实的贫穷，满足是最真实的财富

人的价值，在遭受诱惑的一瞬间被决定

不论你在什么时候开始，重要的是开始之后就不要停止,
不论你在什么时候结束，重要的是结束之后就不要悔恨

抱最大的希望，为最大的努力，做最坏的打算

家！甜蜜的家！天下最美好的莫过于家

当你能飞的时候就不要放弃飞

你的选择是做或不做，但不做就永远不会有机会

2007-07-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
You scored as a Psychology/Sociology
You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.
Psychology/Sociology

94%
History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

81%
Accounting/Finance/Marketing

81%
PoliticalScience/Philosophy

81%
Religion/Theology

75%
Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

69%
French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

69%
HR/BusinessManagement

69%
English/Journalism/Comm

63%
Visual&PerformingArts

56%
Mathematics/Statistics

50%
Education/Counseling

44%
Biology/Chemistry/Geology

44%
Physics/Engineering/Computer

38%

cool.. very accurate.. haha..

2007-07-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

anyway, chanced upon this song on 933FM.. and part of the lyrics bought back some memories..

我想我知道
眼泪的味道
曾经付出的每一天每一年
我不曾想逃..

indeed, 眼泪的味道, 我想我真的知道..

2007-06-30T11:30:00.000+08:00

I realised.. I have become more 钻牛角尖 recently.. dunno y.. and it vexes me more and more. most probably it is abt work.. I know I shld be giving ppl the benefit of the doubt.. but sometimes, it is just hard. lol. but nvm, I shall console myself. it is only 2 more weeks.. and I will regain my freedom. haha. and I made a promise to myself: never take any more leave for the 2 the coming 2 weeks. I shall be good. haha.

will be getting my running shoes later.. (most prob adidas) meeting jes and aileen at queenstown later.. so excited.. I guess I will put the shoes to gd use.. (I hope..) cos orientation coming.. I will need it for then and also for other sports activities in my coming 2 wks beak.. lol.

and will be going to my chem teacher's hse to do some translation work for her.. heh. that is one day down. tml will be gg to the library and most prob amk hub? lol.

2007-06-27T20:25:00.000+08:00

I really feel guilty that I am taking half day off and another full day off tomorrow.. but.. another part of me is telling me " Since u have done it, dun regret.. make full use of what u have.." and I decided it is true.. lol.

I went to my grandmother's house tdy.. the neighbourhood that I have spent my baby + teen growing up years. And I went down for a walk around the neighbouring HDB flats, the marketplace and the shophouses.. simply walking down memory lane.. Interestingly, memories of primary school times flooded back more than the lower secondary memories.. haha..

took a walk down the route that I took after school everyday in Red Swastika.. thought of my friend, Li Wern.. and nothing much was changed.. just that I changed more than the sights.. after 7 to 8 yrs.. haha.. was wondering, I was 11/12 when I was first using the route, now 19 when I walked it again and most probably at 26 or older when I walked on it again.. yeah.. we had aged, I realised and time passes too fast for me to react. What I am clear of is that walking down the path again, I am looking at different things with different mentality.. in the past, I would look forward to gg home, ignoring every tree, infrastructure that I passed by. Now, I take time reminiscing the past, spending time noticing the greenery beside the paths and the buildings along it, all these because we will be moving out of the neighbourhood soon.. soon, I may not even get the chance to rekindle all these sweet decade old memories once we moved.. I am just frantically grabbing every bit of memories that I can keep because I am so afraid that I will be left with none in time to come.. I am afraid I can't even remember the familiar sights, the familiar emotions if I dun catch a few more glimpses of it a few years down the road. well, I am desperate, in this sense, haha.

and it feels good to noe nothing much changed. I feel so comfortable with every sight that I take in. But instead, this will reflect the significant change that I feel in me. This shows I have grown up, which is normal. I am no longer the little girl who thinks the world of Sailormoon or Huanzhu Ge Ge..haha.

the next time I go down it again, when will it be.. lol. and what will I feel this time..

2007-06-24T14:39:00.000+08:00

cooped up at home on a sunday afternoon.. haaz.. u will be partially rite to say I dun have any dates for tdy.. but tat doesn't mean I dun have things to do.. but I am pushing it all to after Thurs to complete it so tat I can fully enjoy the days of being a free person.. heh. I rmb the last time I left singtel, I came up with a list of to-do(s).. woohoo.. this time I am gg to do the same.. lol. and I am in high spirits now..

After leaving Avivia, I think I will..

1) eat, slp slack.. muahahahaha.. nbr 1 priority
2) explore kent ridge park or any other scenic parks
3) catch Nancy Drew alone
4) shopping at suntec, bishan J8 and square 2!!! New shopping mall at Novena and I am interested to explore wat they have there..
5) enjoying afternoons off in libraries, esp Esplanade
6) gym sessions (well, I am still considering..lol.)
7) take up Hatha yoga (but timings dun seem to fit leh)
8) visit ACM
9) bake scones, cheesecakes, cookies and brownies!!
10) play badminton

and I finally got my tote bag after looking for so long, looking at the bags available in the market.. it s a white and simple one.. but one which I love for its simpleness.. : )

2007-06-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

recently felt tat I am in more control of my life.. perhaps the self help bks helps.. lol. Never take happiness for granted.. tat could be my quote of life recently.. lol. Realised a lot of things recently.. did some thinking.. and felt I have become emotionally stronger and becoming aware of the choices I can make for my life, I feel better in control of me, myself and my future..

everyone has their own share of fears at any point of time.. fear of the uncertainity, fear of the future, fear of all sorts.. me too.. I had my fears.. I will not list it out here.. but I really hope I can be someone who can face up to them bravely.. I wanna be someone I can be proud of myself..

the paragraphs below are some words dedicated to my family.. They have added more meaning of the word 'family' in my dictionary.. the understanding u have shown in the spate of events that happen recently had touched me greatly.. Family used to be defined as ppl closest to me.. but recently the tolerance and understanding u all have shown to a daughter, a sister made me feel like family can be be more than that.. they can be ur friends, there can be no generation gaps, no taboo issues between us.. we can voice everything out without the dear of offending who.. becos we all noe it is for the gd of him/her.. As a body comprising of 4 members, I guess the respect, freedom and concern we have shown for each other is most probably the factors that bridge our gaps together..

Mummy, I grumbled abt working life to u everyday.. and I know you took me seriously.. as always.. I know my words must be weighing on ur mind.. I can see tat u r trying very hard to console me tat my contract is ending and tat I will not be working soon.. I love the way u respect and not interfere in my decision not to extend my contract and the way u tell me not to be in despair as work will end soon.. u can't imagine how touched I felt then.. I know u are not having an easy time working too.. and I am really sorry I poured my woes to u.. unlike me, u can't quit just becos u feel like it.. and I tink I have influenced my negative thinking on u.. but I will try my hardest to be ur good gal frm now on.. thanks Mummy.. u felt like a friend to me more than a mother.. and it makes me proud to have u as my mummy.. I am telling myself I wanna be a mother like u when I become one in future..

Daddy, although I have been very bad tempered recently.. (maybe I have always been so..) but I know how much u loved me.. and thanks for fetching me after work be it on OT days or normal working days.. I am sorry each time u have to wait for 1 hour plus just to fetch me.. u could simply use the time to go home and get some rest.. maybe we both dunno how to express our love for one another but ur actions as a doting father are really more than sufficient.. I can feel strongly for every bit of it.. also, u may be unaware but I love asking u qns abt life and reality.. because I never fail to find surprises in ur answers.. I can't say how much I love u but I know u guys are ppl I would rather sacrifice myself than let u guys come to harm..

Bro, noe u r pretty stressed out recently with the long working hours.. saw ur msn nick too, I understand ur tiredness.. but dun worry, it will end soon.. we are having some conflicts before tat.. pretty serious I would say but I am glad things turn out good after tat.. maybe till now u dun understand my outburst but thanks for ur forgiveness.. sometimes I just wonder, an unreasonable sis like me, if I dun have a bro like u, how terrible will life be.. so thanks for everything u have done frm young, all the way frm the material things u have given up just to pacify me to the big heartedness u have shown in tolerating my absurd behaviour..

2007-06-07T22:38:00.000+08:00

I just realised how stubborn I am.. there are some things I have known all along, but I just refuses to admit it.. refuses to admit that I have done wrong, refuses to believe that I have actually took a step backward to forgive that person, refuses to believe that I have actually seen the gd points abt that matter/person.. and in front of everybody, I had successfully lied that I am not wavering in my stand and that my opinion remains unchanged.. it just take that long for me to come to the light.. to accept the truth and find that it is simply meaningless for me to retain my stubbornness. It is time for me to concede defeat and stop my childlishess. lol. And it takes just a laugh to let things return to normal.. and continue with life. : )

2007-06-04T22:26:00.001+08:00

when life is good to us, we see the value of life. When we feel that life had mistreated us in a way or another, instead of seeing the value of the lessons learnt, we saw the biasness and unfairness we hoped to see.. in a way, we r blinded by our prejudices and things just turn completely opposite.

I suppose one of the most impt thing we must learn throughout our years of existence on planet Earth is we must try learn to see things with a clear state of mind and never jump to conclusions haphazardly. This could be one of the most difficult lessons that we must learn.. and even till the end of life, we may not be able to realise this..

2007-06-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

I got mixed emotions flowing through me, just like I have thousand of things on my mind now. argh.

feeling frustrated, irritated, grateful, lucky, sorry, confused, in a dilemma.. wow. wat a interesting hybrid of feelings.

and if u believe, I am currently reading "Veronika decides to die". I dun understand 60% of wat I am reading so far but I know it is a book on madness. and I seriously tink I am mad. I am not joking, but I seem to agree with wat the 'mad' are thinking inside the book.. so it is like.. hmm.. where does that place me? In a asylum too?

and do u know the mad are actually normal ppl while the so classified 'normal' ppl are actually the mad ppl.. just that they take the same stand for most things, they are considered normal as they form the majority. I found this true. and I like this theory. Goodness.

Pardon me if I am not speaking sense or if u can't catch up.. I feel the need to pry into my innermost self and do some soul searching. Maybe I can uncover some of my hidden soul strength which I myself am unaware of. wow.

2007-05-31T18:27:00.000+08:00

- THE HEIGHTS BY GREAT MEN REACHED WERE NOT OBTAINED BY SUDDEN FLIGHT.BUT THEY, WHILE THEIR COMPETITORS SLEPT, WERE TOILING UPWARD IN THE NIGHT.

The above quote may not be foreign to most of us. But chancing upon this quote in a website again reminds me of O'Levels days, Miss Khairani to be exact. Perhaps there are really geniuses in this world but most of the top achievers really slog for what they have tdy. and it applies to all areas.. to athletes, CEOs, Nobel Prize winners, professors, students and most imptly, the ordinary ppl like us who u rubbed ur shoulders against with on the streets every day. hahas. It motivates me to study, although it is just a one moment tot. The next moment, sad to say but I am back to the square one. But the fact that it motivates remains. : )

I have accepted NTU's Psychology. I chose it over NUS's FASS and for now, I am certain I made the right choice. My fellow pals have also accepted their respective courses and most of us will be separated, I reckon. And it will be 3 more weeks before I officially end work and start preparing for university. Lesson learnt, I will bear in mind my priorities and study hard in the years to come.

also, on a small note, if I manage to lose 2kg by end of July, I will bake something for u, my friends to celebrate. : ) Wish me luck, fellow pals. haha.

2007-05-27T11:01:00.000+08:00

oh dear, my wisdom tooth hurts.. again. argh. It isn't really painful, I can still talk.. but I just cannot open my mouth big and wide. It just hurts if I do that. The dentist is right. It really just comes back more frequently. haiz. if extracting it means a $400 flying out of my pocket, then I wld rather bear with the pain. just hope it don't get too serious as time passes.

for this mth, let's see what I have done. Rmb that I came up with a list of to-dos.. haha. Not bad. I completed most of them except that I didn't get to go to any museums yet. Shopping wise, I had done an adequate of it. I realised I had accomplished 60% of my to-dos list.. hahas. I am satisfied with the progress. Part 2 will commence on 28th June. hahas : )

and I went back to the POC area on friday.. I deliberately went China Square, Golden Shoe and all the places which holds memories for the 6 of us. Images of us gg for lunch, walking to Raffles Place mrt after work flooded back. It is nice to recall those times. With Andrea having interest in the manicure shop, isis and me lunching at Hans, py and me meeting at raffles place mrt every morning when we just started work, the whole grp of us walking to the abalone shop for lunch during training days and our last day. wow. memories overload. haha. One mth will soon pass and another will too in no time.. followed by the subsequent mths.. but memories will forever be for ours to keep. These will be the best gifts we can give to one another after parting. And I will keep it well. : )

2007-05-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

watched pirates 3 tdy and met up with my fellow temps too.. : ) it is really nice seeing them again.. and I mean it.. although I didn't talk much.. but it is the nice nostagia feeling u get when u see them.. haha.. too bad andrea and joanne wasn't here tdy.. if not, we can have a full gathering.. time flies.. have been slacking for 3 weeks, gg to a mth.. soon, I will be working again.. (1 mth, extendable) found a new job in shenton way.. call centre environment again.. the location pleases me at first.. becos I tot it is near my old workplace which I can go patronise the nice chai fan stall again.. then I realised.. no, I am not. My new workplace will be far from Golden Shoe.. oh well.. haha.. wat can I do?..lol.
anyway, I am gg to give my ratings for pirates 3.. well, I hadn't watched part 1 and 2.. hahas. so I ended up like a confused sotong.. double blur..there are several parts which I dun understand and have to trouble my friend to explain it to me.. story plot is ok, maybe before that I am having too high expectations for it.. some parts are draggy, some are very abrupt.. for eg. the death of sao-feng (chow yun fatt) came too sudden.. but one thing that must be mentioned: keira is gorgeous inside.. haha. very beautiful. I finally understand y so many ppl adore johnny depp inside. His character Jack Sparrow is really the most ineteresting inside.. haha. : ) Previously, I had heard that there is some controversy going on over the issue of Chow Yun Fatt acting as a Singaporean pirate.. some are very displeased over it.. well, for me, it sorts of makes me feel proud to hear Singapore being mentioned in the this international movie blockbuster.. it sorts of publicizes Singapore although I am puzzled why the scriptwriter chose Singapore out of all places.. why not Hong Kong, Thailand etc? Overall, it is still worth the tix price.. but more worth if u go for the weekday slot.. heesh.. : )
so, before I go back to my 5 day working weeks, let me enjoy this coming weekend..

2007-05-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

I have been a pig pigging out the whole day today.. heh.

anyway, I went with my mom and aunties to a fortune teller tdy. The accuracy of her words seriously impressed me.. haha. and of cos I have my reading taken as well. Shan't elaborate on here, but the most impt issue will be tat although people can tell u how ur life will be in the future, it is still up to us to create our destiny. To me, the advice given will definitely be valued and will help to prevent me from making certain mistakes but as for the rest, we are then the true dictators of our life. And it pleases me to realise that. Maybe I am too slow in this, perharps many of u have already realised that but at least I learnt something tdy.. : )

my life in my control. hahahahahaha.

2007-05-17T19:52:00.000+08:00

u r as hot headed as I am.. hence, our problems won't be solved so easily.. but hope that in the mail that I have sent u, hope that I have clarified everything.. used to think we will get even closer to one another after our job together.. sometimes, things can just go wrong the way we dun want it.. lol.
and my 2007 resolution still stands.. I am not gg to be emo.. I will not be an emo person.. emo will only land me into trouble. I hate it! Emo Elmo, u better leave me alone.. or else.. lol.

2007-05-16T15:50:00.000+08:00

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds floatacross the sky, is hardly a waste of time."-- Sir John Lubbock

my sentiments exactly..

2007-05-14T22:57:00.001+08:00

I was watching a TV show that is broadcasted every weekday morning on CH 8 at 10am. Old TCS show, by Pan Ling Ling, Huang Biren, HUang Wenyong, Lin Mei Jiao and cast.. but it just makes me look back again.. It is not always encouraged to look back but sometimes, it just doesn't hurt to look back.. we will then realise how much we have grown.. isn't it..
and I found my bro's kindergarten report bk.. hahas.. not mine though.. I flipped thru and saw the remarks and particulars eg. the height and weight in it. Well, it is dated 15/11/94..hahas. I tried imagining if the report card is mine, what will my teacher put in it..
Back in 1994, maybe we didn't know much abt this world that we are living in. Thirteen years later, we have matured considerably.. however, we may still not be familiar with how this world works.. Another thirteen years later, in our late thirties, perhaps things will be slightly better but we still cannot have a full grasp of how this world operates.. Even till the day we leave, we have reached our threshold but still, it definitely wasn't enough to understand the world.. The world with its people is so complex after all..
At this point, something Xiao S said came to mind.. hahas.. she mentioned before that she had not ever regretted growing up because with growing up, comes freedom. She loves growing up, growing old and every other part of life becos at these different stages she knows she will learn different things, seeing things frm different perspectives.. quite true, to me, when we are young, days are the most unbearable in the sense, we dun have sufficient pocket money to buy they toys we want. We have to rely on our parents to buy it for us. We cannot hang out with friends on any day of the week as we are still young. Now, already in the nineteenth year of my life, I have the freedom and ability to earn my money, save my pocket money that is given to me to spend on the material things I like. I am able to hang out with my friends everyday. The freedom compared is significantly larger. However, it is also this freedom that constantly reminds me I must be home to accompany my parents.. They are the ones who need us most. I love them more than anything in the world. They will not be reading this but I do promise I will spend more time with them now and in the future.. I love u, Daddy, Mummy..

2007-05-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

2007-05-12T00:29:00.000+08:00

a random tot just came to mind.. actually, nobody cannot manipulate life. As a matter of fact, even we cannot manipulate our own lives. No matter wat decisions we made at the crossroads of life, we can only guide the path that our life will take. As for what will happen after that, nobody has the power to control. So as to say fate is in control, we might as well say everything is just random. All the coincidences that we attribute to fate may be just independent random events. hahas. rmb ur probability? ur poisson, ur binomial distribution? ;p
Mummy nagged at me tdy.. hahas.. over the phone.. cos I spend $$ tdy again.. but it is indeed true I am a spendthrift. Spend $100+ within 48 hrs. argh. but I am still very happy! hahas. Retail therapy makes me happy.. : )
I am happy, cos I really am.. hahas.
btw, I finished Tenth Circle! which leaves me to ponder which bk shall I start again..

2007-05-11T00:51:00.000+08:00

went window shopping in vivocity tdy alone. shuang. haha. my next stop will be causeway pt/junction 8 followed by orchard. hahas.
diff ppl have diff emo timings. tpy is emo during rainy days. I, like most ppl, am emo at nite. hahas. was reading Jodi Picoult's Tenth Circle recently. Was a bk I wished I can finish it all at one go. It had too many twists that I am unable to anticipate.. but I love it. hahs. it only makes me wanna finish the book at a faster rate and start on Sister's Keeper asap. lol. I haven't finish it yet. 3/4 thru though. : )
Meanwhile, still no progress for finding a job. However, that isn't really my main concern. I tink I shld use this free period to read more now. Heard psycho ppl need do lots of reading. hahas.

Once, there was an ordinary one,
who thought she can find true happiness by faking her smiles
who thought she can prove her worth by putting in the best effort
who thought she can live in her own world as long as she doesn't accept reality..

who childlishly believe the world can be very simple if it wants to
who stubbornly believe the good will be rewarded and vice versa
who insists to believe everyone is indispensable in this world and that the world will feel sad with the departure of any other person..

now the qns comes..
are you her? before being taken in by reality?

2007-05-09T22:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes, it is just so contradictory.. hahas. when I am working, I am grumbling why am I working.. I want to enjoy life and all that.. now that I had been granted my wish, I wish I am working now. The feeling of no income really sucks esp when u r continuing to having output and no input. Pls, let me find a job pls. But nevertheless, I am still enjoying life, becos I noe if I dun now, when I find a job later, I will start missing these days again.. hahas. so, rock and roll!! enjoy to the fullest, txh.. I will tell myself.. hahas.
anyway, on another note, I tink I am the most thick skinned (hou lian pi) person in the world. Scheduled my dental appt earlier to 15 May, which is next wk, I realise.. hahas.. and the biggest PROB is I can't fit into my retainers anymore!! Hooray.. now my dentist will noe I haven't been following his instructions and reason why I brought forward the appt is becos my wisdom tooth hurts. I am worried it will push my teeth arrangement out of shape.. pls dun.. My parents spent tons of money on it!! and basically I am fine with my teeth as long as it looks straight and tidy frm the front.. pls dun let my teeth move any further..argh. I pray, I pray, I pray.

2007-05-05T21:22:00.001+08:00

I was on my way home and I realised I got carried away discussing abt the parent-child issue. far too agitated, I reckon. Seriously, I have always taken parents' responsibility to be the greatest on Earth. To the child, they are not only the one who brought them to Earth, they are their guardians, their saviours, their everything. Hence, maybe I have been a little extreme, but I still firmly believe that parents shld shower all the love they have on all their children equally. Pls don't give lame excuses like I prefer my younger child as I feel a strong affirnity with her, or I love my older child more as she is more obedient to defend your biasness which is already wrong frm the first place, no matter how u defend it. Simply said, the excuses that parents will give are all BULLSHIT.
and although I had not read Sister's Keeper, the storyline keeps me pondering. The tot of whether the child is right to sue her parents keeping poping up in my mind. This, I may have to finish the story first before coming to a conclusion but, personally, I have a sensitive spot for biasness issues. I have high expections of parents, dunno y. I just dun see y children are subjected to discrimination and biasness when they are born frm the same womb. If u not ready, pls dun be a parent. If u tink u r ready, pls be prepared it is a lifelong committment. Don't ever practise biasness because ur kid had done nothing to deserve it, if they did, it will be because they are born frm ur womb. And also for god's sake, dun ever create a life just to save another life. It will only hurt the younger kid more when they come to earth knowing that they were merely a life saving tool in their parents' eyes..
I have a wish, to hope that all parents in this world will give all their children whom they had not loved as much a chance to let them prove to their daddies and mummies how wonderful they are..

2007-05-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

I explored the woodbridge compound tdy! it is like 'finally'! hahas.. and it is really a gd environment inside. Lush greens, orange brick buildings.. the morning sun makes it comfortable to tale a nice stroll inside the compound.. hahas.

just to share.. recently was touched by 2 incidents..

I was strolling when a car drove into the driveway. The husband was actually seeing his wife off for work, and under the warm morning sun, I catch a glimpse of how the couple kissed each other on the cheek before the wife got off.. so sweet! and how many ppl are caught in this everyday routine of life that they had forgotten to show acts of love and appreciation for their loved ones? seriously, if I am the wife, I would think I am the most blissful person on earth.. hahas..

next, ppl do really mature after they settled down.. I went back cchs and heard my sec sch maths teacher saying things that I couldn't believe it was coming out frm his mouth. He always protrayed the kiddy and playful image in front of his students. He shared with us his past, how he got retained and how he tamed down to study hard to get into vj and eventually into uni.. This teacher whom we all tot is so bu zhen jing actually said this: Now that I have someone to look after, I couldn't allow myself to come to any harm. Often, I had met irritating drivers on the road who I wish I could just go.. u noe.. bang my car into them.. but I couldn't.. The most is curse and scold,, have to think of her.. I bet if her wife heard it, she will be damm touched..

kudos to everyone on earth. Cherish and appreciate watever is in our possession tdy, for tdy is what it matters.

2007-05-02T04:59:00.000+08:00

5.02am now.. not tat I can't get to slp but I just woke up.. ended up in front of the com.. if there is work tdy, I wld definitely go back to slp.. hahas.
tdy, I woke up with a heart very thankful..
thankful of my daddy and mommy, who gave life to me and my bro.. of my bro who had been the best sibling I could ever have.. of my shifu godma who always treated me so well although I didn't really treat her well.. of my friends who stayed by me through thick and thin.. u noe how I get to know whether who are my true friends I value most? They are the ppl who will successfully affect my feelings when they feel sad or happy. When they are happy, I will be too, and when they are upset, I will feel their sadness together with them.. when they are worried, I will be worried for them too.. so dear pals, do hang on as we have a long way ahead.. we will stick to each other for the rest of our lives unless any one of us dun want each other..
yi hou de lu you da jia de pei ban, rang wo jue de heng xing fu.

2007-05-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

once again, I feel it may be better if I am devoid of feelings. watever.
tdy marks the last day at singtel. the whole day was smooth sailing. I settled all my pending cases and no new cases come in. All basic enquiries. So, basically, I had accomplished my task.
There are a lot to miss in the company, in its ppl, far more than I expected. lol. just a few, but I noe I will definitely miss going in at ard 8.43am every morning, start the com, log in and start gg to the pantry to fill my mug with water. I will just miss the emailing that we 6 temps are doing every day, missing the toilet trips we had together, missing all the breaks and lunches we had.. and all the juicy gossips we shared..and also the cai fan too.. I will miss seeing every fellow temp in the office everyday.. no more of calling their extensions to tell them the bo liao-est things on earth.. no more of putting auto-in or aux, no more of seeking jennifer's/ rosalind's/kintan's/shalene's help..
yeap, as everything has to come to an end, let it end here ba. sadness will eventually be diluted as time goes by. 6 temps, 6 different personalities, created a common identity in 1606.. kudos to us, ex-1606 temps! We rox, really! Knowing u guys are the best gifts given to me for joining this job.

now, let's move on, however difficult and painful it may be. I am going to come up with a list of how I am going to spend my spare time:
1) Musemums
2) Botanic Gardens/ Orchid Gardens
3) Shopping @ Junction 8, Vivocity, Jurong Point and Causeway Point
4) Libraries
5) Nice cafes to enjoy my gd books
6) Kent Ridge Park
7) Beach, preferably ECP
8) Swimming
9) explore the woodbridge compound
10) airport
11) Go on hippo tours

ok, this will tentatively be the list of things and places I will be going. : )
sadness, pls fade away quick..

2007-04-21T02:07:00.000+08:00

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

You are totally dissatisfied with your present situation. Matters are not going right for you and you are seeking a means of escape. Your mental state of mind necessitates that you need to change your thinking patterns. Remember, if one particular modus operandi doesn't seem to work, then try something different.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offence.

You feel that you must have co-operation from those close to you before the existing stressful situation can be improved. You feel that no-one understands you and this lack of understanding and appreciation makes you feel completely isolated. You need that feeling of security and would like to get away from what you now consider depressing shackles. You have that need to re-establish your own individuality but your sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for you to let go - to open up, but the way that you are feeling at this time makes you feel that 'Enough is enough' and you are prepared to give in. This disturbs you as you feel that this attitude is an obvious sign of weakness - an attitude to be overcome and so in spite of this situation you feel that in order to assert your own individuality you need to continue to practice self-restraint.

You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.

I can only say it is quite true.. hahs.. 75%.

2007-04-21T01:08:00.000+08:00

as I tried to look u in the face to bid u gdbye this morning, I held out my hand for a handshake for no reason.. perhaps that will make it seem a proper farewell..

as you gave me a hug, I saw the tears flashing in ur eyes, as u rest ur head on my shoulders, my heart ached. I didn't expect that, but it makes me feel like crying..

as I ate the apple that you will cut for me every morning, I knew it is different. This will be the last fruit that you will put nicely in a container with a toothpick for me.. u do that every morning ever since I am watching my diet.. asking me whether I want to bring cut fruit to work..

as I bid you gdbye again on the phone during lunchtime, I knew this may be the last time I will be speaking to you. Thanking u and asking you to take care may be only what I have said at this point of time, but it comes from the bottom of my heart.

thinking back, 3 years of living together had brought you closer to our family.. Still remember vividly when u just came, u cooked lots of Indonesian dishes.. I rmb we said that the mashed potatoes are nice and that became a frequent dish on the dining table frm then on until Mommy taught u more local dishes..

u will never fail to wake me up on time be it naps or every morning as long as Daddy or Mommy instructed u to.. to ensure I am never late for sch or for work..

I was angry with you when I wanted to make egg sandwich and you prepare the last egg to be half-boiled instead of hard-boiled, thus spoiling my sandwich plan..

I seldom buy u things but when u decided to keep ur hair long, I bought u 2 rubber bands..

There was not a word of grumble frm u when you have more work to do, for eg had to fry the seaweed chicken at night after dinner.. when u have to cook instant noodles for supper for both ah di and I.. when I req u have to hand wash most of my clothes..

You will show me a picture of your son happily that u just received in a letter frm ur hometown.. and at the same time, u will also req to develop some of the photos we had taken together to keep as memorto.

how I will ask u how do I look before I leave for work everyday

and I will always look for u when I am in need of stamps but too lazy to go buy myself..

how you will answer the calls like a standard answering machine, giving ur greetings promptly..

how you will open the door, welcoming every friend of ah di and mine with ur cheerful smiles..

although the vegetables u fry are always overcooked, but u still possess good culinery skills, making my clique love the food u cooked..

and not to forget your birthdays, which falls exactly on Valentine's Day.. such a special day..

I will never forget the happiness that is beaming on your face when you tot u r coming back after 3 weeks, telling me how excited u r to see ur son and ur family again..

All these trival things, but things will be different as I will not see u every morning anymore. I will not see u ironing the clothes in the afternoon.. I am sad, after all, 3 years of time is not considered short, but there is not eternity in this world and u shld be going back to your family to where u belong. Perhaps before that, u had already caught the hint that u will not be serving us anymore, perhaps u only know of the decision last minute, let's hope everyone part without too much sadness.. and may life be blissful for u back in your hometown.

Let us all continue the respective journeys of our lives. As angel had said, smile becos fate had bought abt our meeting..

once again, I have realised the importance of my family and friends around me and I will cherish them more than before..

2007-04-19T04:49:00.000+08:00

nostalgia hits me again.. I dun wanna tink but I can't deny the fact that I am thinking abt tj and the school life we had when I was reading jiamin's blog.. we had left precious memories in every corner every corner of tj.. suddenly had an urge to go back to lep room.. even if this is so, I am more aware that things have changed and as much as I am willing to go back, the people and environment there are different..

stop reminiscing abt the past, tang. and maybe u r rite. I will try to adopt to your advice of stop thinking that my life is screwed up. argh.

and I desperately need some time alone to cool off.. I haven't had the time to interact with my own soul for ages. I have not listened to the voices of my heart for very long.. so.. let this begin after contract end.

speaking of ending of contract, although 3 mths is just a fleeting period of our lives, I still feel sad. Sad not becos I am afraid of being jobless but sad that I am leaving the ppl behind.. To console myself, I can only say if I dun leave my 'comfort circle' to venture into new areas, I will never know what the future holds for me..

anyway, was reading 'Rape of Nanking'.. omg.. totally disgusted with the Japanese.. and gets me very affected everyday after I read the book.. Maybe Iris Chang (author) didn't commit sucide solely becos of the facts stated in the book, but I tink there is a high possibility that that is one of the contribution factors.. and what leaves me more excited is I just bought a book, 'The Unknown Story, Mao' on Mao Zedong. gosh! After I finish 'R.O.N', I will move on to it.. hahas..

2007-04-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

browsing thru tj pics again.. and as usual, memories flooded back..

the feeling is sad.. looking thru the pics.. thinking abt then.. and abt now.. we have changed.. I have changed, at least. and to be honest, I am ashamed abt my change. I had no idea what I had subject my friends to until... I had upset my dearest pals, and I sincerely apologise for that. I apologise too.. for only realising that after the outbreak. If I had been more observant, maybe all that wouldn't have happen..

however, I know an apology isn't enough.. actually, after the accident, I dunno how to face u guys..I may not show it but I actually feel awkward in all your presence..I am reluctant to let go of our friendships but at the same time at a loss when I am facing u guys.. I feel guilty cos of wat I had done, all the unhappiness I have caused, all the trouble I had created..

and worse of all, I am not a worthy person, worthy daughter, worthy sister and not even a worthy friend. Incidents happen one after another.. my mind is in a mess. I need to think properly. I need to be clear headed.. but can I? I am confused, hurt, sad, preoccupied.. does that help? not at all. I need time and like the skies will clear after the rain, hopefully I will sort out my problems one by one.. and things to turn out fine.

2007-04-10T20:27:00.000+08:00

some say death makes u closer to life, makes u more appreciative of life and it is true.. I tink.

have u tried living a day as if it is ur last? perhaps u may have not.. most peers at our age are in the pink of health, too lazy to bother abt such stuff.. however, even if this is so, we shld not neglect our life. Without death to be the constant reminder to keep us in track, we will stray frm our dreams and our so-called destiny. We will take everything for granted. We won't appreciate our closed ones beside us, we will always delay what we want to say to our loved ones, thinking we have all the time in the world.. we will not know how precious time is, how blissful we are, how vaulable our family and friends are, and how helpless it is to await death.. time may be in abundance to us now.. but like a natural resource, it will eventually depete one day.

everything may be the end for u after u died, but it is not over for those who love u deeply.. It will remain as a scar deeply in their hearts. Everything won't be the same again. They will be reminded of your laughter, your smile, your voice, bits and pieces of u in everything they do. They will be tormented by the pain of missing u.. but.. that's life.

We can't predict death, can't control when it will come but before it comes, be appreciative of everything we own in life, be grateful for everyone who left a print in ur heart..

2007-04-06T06:00:00.000+08:00

well.. my contract is ending.. haaz.. and soon I will be leaving the job and off to find another new job.. Man are really emotional animals..情感动物. So far, what I have learnt in the company is definitely what we cannot experience in school. I have learnt not to trust people implicitly. Those who may be friendly to u on the surface may be backstabbing u behind ur back. Those who u do not have a gd first impression of may let u change ur opinion of them at the end of the day.. For those who have helped me, I sincerely thank them. I am not a gd worker, always needing advice on how to settle my cases but some of my collaegues really had been there for me since the day I had known them. so, as for the remaining term, just pray I can survive it peacefully with no big trouble.

had rekindled my passion for books recently.. haha.. just that if I were to rekindle it earlier, how nice would it be. My eng language skills may entirely be another different story. BUT, my reading speed is very SLOW. hahs. Just finished The Alchemist 2 days ago. A bit cheem, and always got the feeling that I am only understanding only half of the story. lol.

but still, wld like to quote some phrases frm the book:
people learn early in their lives what is their reason for being, maybe that's why they give up on it so early, too..

don't forget to follow your destiny through to its conclusion.

every blessing ignored becomes a curse.

When I am eating, that's all I think abt. If I'm on the march, I'll just concentrate on the marching. If I have to fight, it will just be as good a day to die as any other. Because I dun live in either in my past or future. I'm only interested in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll always be a happy man.

It's not what enters men's mouths that is evil. It's what comes out of their mouths that is.

Everyone on earth has a treasure awaits him. We, people's hearts, seldom say much of those treasures because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, towards it own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out fir them - the path to their destinies, and to their happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and because they do, the world turns out, indeed to be a threatening place..

before a dream is realised, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil but so that we can, in addition to realising our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up.

Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.

If I am really part of your dream, you'll come back one day.

Where your treasure is, there also will be your heart.

What is ur treasure?
Are u following ur destiny, or r u straying from it?

2007-04-06T05:59:00.000+08:00

testing

2007-03-25T00:51:00.000+08:00

2007-03-23T06:31:00.000+08:00

2007-03-15T06:07:00.000+08:00

great.. actually my 2nd newest post (including this) becomes a blank after I type close to 500 words on it.. but nvm.. no use getting angry over it.. maybe there's something wrong with blogger..

anyway, work.. gets more complicated.. I am starting to feel the stress.. take the least calls everyday.. be the one who has the worse performance in my grp and among all my temp staff.. I think till here, only angel understands.. I am really not gd in this job.. I am not confident as my other collaegues to take on any enquires and it makes me wonder whether they is anything I am gd in.. really.. how am I gg to make it in society in a few years time? and reality really sucks.. it sucks always.. I may live in my own world, but I hate to see my world being crushed in the hands of crude reality.

What's more.. I feel sorry towards my tl.. got a feeling that I am a burden to her grp.. argh.

great great.. just continue to let me feel I am useless.. and...... I dunno wat will happen next..

2007-03-14T14:40:00.000+08:00

2007-03-03T02:21:00.000+08:00

As I sat on the bus passing by TJ yesterday, I knew it is over. everything is over. I had completed my 2 year journey. In this 600+ days, I have saw, have felt, have learnt and have gained what I know will be one of the best assets of my life.

Tears, sweat, laughter, joy. Happiness, sadness, anger, bitterness. There is just too much for me to note down into words.

Remember that..

I felt useless when I felt that my J1 tutors didn't believe in me.

We ponned PW using the blood donation drive as an excuse. We would rather donate blood because we can then dun go for both PE and PW. : )

how our clique formed, from vera, sam, ls and me all the way to the big family now..

and the dui lian times me and ls had.. the staircase incident and also thw worksheets falling off incident..

how the kk and ls rumors started becos they are both wearing the delta hous tee in PW lesson.

we dun care a damm and used to be very late for lessons. Toilet trips are a must in between lessons and how I got into trouble with Lofthouse because of my lateness.

I borrowed Yuxiang's tutorial to class and was caught by Ivan Lim on the first day of his lesson.

I was angry when Miss Yee 'accused' me of not putting effort in my work when I did.

I cried because I am down with dengue and my Civics tutor wouldn't let me take my promos in sch.

I felt helpless when I have to be thick-skinned to approach my tutors one by one to beg them to give me gd remarks in order for me to promote to J2. That period, some of the teachers aren't exactly nice with their words..

the period when I was threatened that I have to go poly if my class tests don't make the grade.

we ponned the school sports meet and miss tay was so worried that the whole class wouldn't turn up..

we slacked in the lep room and made lots of friends there.. ppl like Jiamin, Moon, Chao Kiat, Zhenbin..

we studied in the library together but ended up in the bball court at the end of the day.. and when we were stopped by the VP, it still didn't stop us, we went opposite TJ to play.

the frequent trips made down to east coast, to watch the sunset together..

the kbox trips we made on wkends and the numerous stayovers we had at Jes's place..

the make-up PEs we did together as we always ponned the lessons.. skipping suddenly becomes very fun when we are doing it together.

we lie on the bball court, looking at the night sky counting the stars..

the class chalets we had.. esp in year one where it bonded everyone together..

there are still lots and lots of experiences I can nvr forget and most importantly, I found a super fantastic bunch of friends who are for life....

2007-02-20T08:57:00.000+08:00

happy CNY everybody! May this coming year be a gd one for all of us..

Sometimes, it is just funny that the long awaited festival has passed just like that.. and for CNY, it is always more fun to anticipate for its arrival then spending the 2 to 3 days away just like that.. in the past, after every Chi New Year, I would feel sad.. cos it feels like suddenly u have nth to look forward to anymore.. lol. Now, I changed.. II feel that instead, we should look forward to the next new year..

anyway, I am really glad that I get to spend my 2007 new year with our clique.. u noe.. it is the 2nd time we are spending it together.. and if possible, I wanna spend it with u guys every year.. Our environment changed, everything changed but u guys didn't.. u have no idea how lucky I feel to have u guys around me..thanks again ppl.. for all the differences, all the laughter and joy u bought me..

Love u all! Gambate!

2007-02-11T08:59:00.000+08:00

mood swings recently..

a scene on the mrt yesterday. There are 2 brothers, with the same haircut. I like the elder one more. The younger one was sitting on his mother's lap and the elder one sitting on a seat by hiimself. Anyway, things were fine until they become noisy. I glanced in their direction and saw the younger bro keep hitting his brother's head. He seems to think it is fun hitting his bro's head.. keep smiling broadly throughout.. Dunno if u all can imagine, but I got angry immediately when I saw it.

If u r asking me y I am angry, it is becos I am angry for the elder bro. I am angry y their parents didn't put a stop to it. Why must he get hit on his head by his younger bro? It makes no sense. He shld be the one to bully his younger bro instead if anyone is to get hit. And oh plse, the elder bro seem to be enjoying it all.. foolish. I know they are just playing and I may be making a big fuss out of nothing.. but I am still angry. To me, parents shld stop their children in time to prevent any siblings' 'fights'. Worse, if parents show favourtism, the favoured one will bully the other siblings, which is something I will not tolerate in the past, present and in the future.

And I seriously think it is unfair to the one who get bullied. This not only apply between siblings, between ppl too. Seeing the smiles on the 2 boys, I suddenly realised how pure their minds are. To them, they dun take offence, in fact they may not even realise they are at the disadvantaged end. They were just happy that someone is playing with them. Yet, as we grow up, we see and learn more abt our environment. I can't help feeling that we will be at disadvantage if we dun fight for things ourselves. I dun trust this world, I realise. Maybe I am too sensitive but after graduating frm tj, going into the working environment made me realise lots of things. Relationships with one another are essentially politics. And what I can do for myself is to speak up and fight for the benefits on my own. Nobody is gg to care abt u if u r gg to remain quiet in a corner.

Just like you can't reverse a cloth which is being cut into pieces, our mindset cannot be reversed back to the state it is orginally in..

anyway, I am just wondering whether anybody believe in inborn character.. some ppl chose to believe that our characters are mould in the process of growing up. But I chose to believe the other. I believe in inborn character. This also indirectly mould us into what we are today because different characters will look at issues differently.

2007-02-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

I really had a bad memory remembering my passwords.. and I forgot all of them.. including my blog's account.. took some attempts b4 I log in here..

time again accelerated without us knowing.. In Feb now.. and into the 2nd wk of my work.. Things start to fall in place, I suppose. Started taking calls and answering some of their queries although I am confused over some of them..

Have my own workdesk. Cool. I want to start filling my drawers with tidbits and chocolates. And bring a mug there to drink my hot milo or oatmeal drink.. lol.. The job is nice, so far.. really.. We sit down in a cold air con office and take calls all day long. You get amused by all types of ppl everyday. Some dun pay their bills and blame the postmen saying that they are all slping.. Some failed to relocate their line and can't wait to scream their head at somebody who can take the blame.. of cos, all these are fun only when they are not happening to u and u r only watching it frm a outsider point of view..

I love my greeting. hahaz.. cos I say it very fast, sounds professional. heh. and I had tried my best to put on a confident and experienced voice so that the caller will not detect my nervousness. lol.

enough abt work. got to go off now..

2007-02-03T12:37:00.000+08:00

reading abt yt blogging abt her work makes me tempted to blog abt mine too.. lol.. and I am really proud that yt is a reporter!! I have a reporter friend!! hoho!

was with van and ying yesterday and Van and me were so gan kai that we are all working now.. wearing clothes that look so adults.. trying to look professional when we are not really one.. lol.. Although I dun thoroughly enjoy the process, but treat it as a experience after all. Office job is like tat.. there is a dress code we have to follow.. haiz..

let's see.. hmm.. I was telling my collaegues that the best thing abt work is that it makes us look forward to weekend.. haaz.. my job currently is fun, I suppose.. cos it is still the training period now.. and all my other collaegues (our peers) have more and more common topics to talk abt.. it is so funny to be with them.. and they are crazy to be with.. We are even joking abt having a singles party in the pantry on Valentine's Day.. aha.. lol.. and my collaegue Andrea is so cute! She always imagine noises and is the only gal who can mistook a person for an elephant.. It is so much fun having her..

and I seriously hope they can allocate more resources and funds to the pantry.. We currently only have mineral water! lol.. and again, we tot of bringing nuggets and all other junk food to work to cook in the pantry.. lol

it is when u see friends ard u working that u realise u had aged. haaz.. Now, we must be careful and spend our time carefully. Who noes if we are not careful and we may end up 20 years later regretting that we had no fun memories in our youth? Aww.. it will be so terrible!

and anyway, I feel like taking kick boxing leh.. but maybe I take in April.. when my job ends.. and hopefully, I will have a partner by then. heh heh.

2007-01-29T21:40:00.000+08:00

Layer ONE: On the Outside
Name: Tang Xin Hui
Birth date: 22/03/1988
Current status: An 18-year-old girl, single, happy.. wondering how she is gg to survive in the society..
Eye colour: Black
Hair colour: Black
Righty or lefty: Righty
Zodiac sign: Dragon

Layer TWO: On the Inside

Your heritage: Chinese but strictly Hokkien..
Your fears: A's.
Your weaknesses: always pang seh ppl..
Your perfect pizza: Seafood Supreme

Layer THREE: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Your thoughts first waking up: Argh, today first day of work..
Your bedtime: 11pm?
Your most missed memory: School life..

Layer FOUR: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
Macdonalds or Burger King: BK.. I am tired of Mac
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Addias, although Nike sneakers are nicer.. lol..
Lipton tea or Nestea: I dun like tea.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate maybe
Cappucino or coffee: Definitely Cappucino : )

Layer FIVE: Do you..
Smoke: No
Curse: Yeap, once in a while, but getting more and more frequent lately.
Gone to the mall: Have anyone not been to one?
Been on stage: Yup, a long time ago..
Eaten sushi: I have the craving for it just now..
Dyed your hair: No. And I wun ever do it..

Layer SIX: Have You Ever
Played a stripping game: No.. it isn't my kind of game.
Changed who you were to fit in: Huh?

Layer SEVEN:
AgeYou're hoping to be married: By 29, I hope.. After that, maybe I wun consider marriage.

Layer EIGHT: In a Girl/Guy

Best eye colour: Black
Best hair colour: Same as Eye Colour.

Layer NINE: What Were You Doing?

1 minute ago: Answering some other layers
1hour ago: Bathing
1.5 hours ago: Just reached home
1 month ago: Working in Gelare.
1 year ago: Just started school.. and in a festive mood..hehe

Layer TEN: Finish the Sentence
I love: Jo In Sung!!
I feel: tired.
I hate: nothing at the moment.. lol.. I dislike but dun hate. That's me.
I hide: my feelings
I miss: my girl.. muahaha.. and our clique.. Pls, have an outing together ok?

Layer ELEVEN:Tag 5 people anyone who's bored.
Cheryl, Xue Ying, Van, Jes, everybody.

2007-01-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

I am crazy over My Girl's songs!! argh.. seriously I can understand tingzi and her colleagues' craze over it.. muahahaha.. the songs are superb!! Argh.. but still, I am reluctant to spend $20.95 on it.. hehe.. I will have my sources.. lol..

And Lee Da Hae shall be on my list of favourite korean actress.. haaz.. after Kim Sun Ah.. lol..

going to work tomolo.. and I am nervous abt it.. let's hope everything goes well for me..

blah blah..

2007-01-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

Actually, dun have a lot of things to blog today. But, still, I feel like blogging. haha..

Met my primary school teacher on the streets today.. She hadn't changed much, still got the same hairstyle after 12 years. Haaz.. She looked the same from afar, but close up, u get to see more traces of time - winkles.

She didn't remember me, but she found my mom familiar. Lol. But nvm, what is impt is that I remember her and her name. It is not an impt fact for teachers to remember their students but it is extremely impt for students to remember their teachers. Because this will indicate how successful the teacher is.

We chatted a little, and I get to know she had retired 2 years ago. Wow. Another teacher of mine retired. She told me happily that she requested for early retirement and that teaching is a stressful job. From her broad smiles, I can really feel that she is happier not being a teacher. haaz.. And I am really happy for her. How many times do we get to be really happy in life? Chances are many but we seized so few of it. More often than not, we are forced to be practical. In the working world, who cares abt passion, interest? Instead, wealth, cars, properties determine your achievements. Who knows 10 years later, these will be the hot favourite discussion topics in our gathering. lol.

However, happiness also relies on a lot of factors. For some people, even if they are doing something they like, they may not necessarily be happy. Their interest may not let them earn as much as others and the closest people around them may not even approve of their decision. In practical sense, money isn't everything but without money, it is nothing. Lol. When reality and practicality hits you, your passion may not even save you.

So, happiness is so abstract that it only belongs to people with the right mentality. Only to people who clearly know what they want and what they need. To all those who is ever so focused on their targets in life.

Miss Low, I wish u a happy retirement and may you always smile so broadly. (I love your smiles.)

2007-01-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

If my mind is a gunny bag, then it should be brimming with things now.. so called memories but we dunno exactly whether they are precious gems or just stones..

I had successfully made myself angry with MYSELF. Seriously, I hate myself when I miss things, when I feel like crying cos those days are never to repeat itself.. How many times had I told myself to cherish the present so tat I can console myself in the future when I look back, hoping that this will ease the pain of missing the good old days. In the end, dunno y, I still feel hurt and helpless. Is it becos I had not fully cherished the present? Or is it that the hurt cannot be eased no matter wat? Dunno.. When I ponder over these issues, my thoughts will be trapped in a maze and no way out. Yup, that's exactly how I am feeling now..

Passing by tj made me realise how much I missed JC life. I missed the route out to East Coast Park, the route we ran for our mass PE. I miss our lectures and tutorials. Scribbling on the notes, dozing off and taking down notes. Everything. I missed walking round the school, making our way to the canteen during breaks, moving round the school to go to our respective classrooms, going to the toilets in between lessons, us staying in the area outside staffroom near the audi side while we waited for PW lessons..

Bit by bit, little have I realised I had accumulated so many things in my gunny sack. Now that it is full, I will have trouble carrying it around..

2007-01-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

read ting's blog.. got the same sentiments.. py and I was talking abt cchms and tj's life in coffee bean today.. We really miss school, I realise.. I dunno.. Suddenly, I feel that I could do with a classroom, tutors and classmates.. argh.. and the adult fee.. makes me spend a lot on my transport fees..

Sometimes, I wonder how are my friends coping with work.. It is sad that ur friends are working and u r without a job.. haiz.. and I really miss walking ard tj, late for tutorials and slacking in LEP room in between periods.. haiz..

Despite all the stuff that we missed lots, we are all so clear that we cannot go back to the past. Typical of Man actually.. not to cherish their things and enjoy when it is still in their possession..

2007-01-13T00:38:00.000+08:00

sometimes, I am amazed.. amazed by the impact that our primary school teachers or any other passer-bys in our life have.. we may be young.. but ironically, it is their teachings that we remember vividly. I remember doing functional writing all tat. I remember we have to pronounce 'mother' carefully if not it will sound like cow in Malay or something like tat. I remember we had to send real letters to my English teacher's residential address so as to get the real exprience of functional writing. I remember my English teacher promised to bring us on a trip to Sungei Buloh after PSLE and it was a trip that is looked forward to. I rmb the trip is special becos we are the only class going. It is only exclusively for our class. Wah!! I remember the teacher taught us new words like 'blubber' and he pointed to my stomach.. heesh.. so funny. but he meant no offence though.. All these are enough to make me smile to myself..

I remember taking part in Chinese poem recitial in primary 3. It was a one and only experience.. becos it took me really lots of courage before I volunteered myself for the task. I yearn to be part of the recitial grp but was shy and timid to volunteer myself.. although we didn't get into the finals, it is truly an unforgettable experience for me.

I also remember we get to fold 1 star whenever we did a good deed everyday in primary 3. It is definitely heartwarming to see when the whole group has accumulated a whole bottle full of stars. And we get to pen down a nice comment about every classmate.. and our chinese teacher will sort out and print out nicely in a sheet of paper for us.

those days.... are really so fun.. I miss it.. but I shan't be sad cos they shall always remain part of me..

2007-01-09T09:45:00.000+08:00

confession of pain is really worth the ticket price.. I must say.. dunno is it whether I had not seen enuf movies or is it the director is really gd.. I just love the way the director protrayed the whole story.. scenes are well organised.. and it is definitely not the director's style to spoonfeed u the story.. lol..

and to liang chao wei.. a pro indeed.. lol.. he took revenge by killing his beloved wife and her family because his father-in-law killed his family brutely when he was young.. he is pitiful, I think.. cos he had lost everything the moment he witnessed the murder of his family.. including his life.. From then on, his mind is only full of revenge.. got together with his wife with an ulterior motive and plotted his revenge plan accordingly..

However, his greatest failure in the plan I tink is that he fell for his wife.. I seriously think tony leung is not playing the bad character inside.. just a pitiful one.. cos I am 100% supportive of his killing plots.. pls dun scold me bian tai becos if it is ur family being killed before ur eyes, I believe u will take revenge even more crudely.. lol..and also, abt he killing his wife.. I am neutral abt that.. he can kill or not to kill, I dun mind.. but just that it is impossible between them becos their sides are different right frm the start.. and the wife will also not forgive tony leung for killing her father anway, so they are just destined to be enemies..

and to takashi and shu qi.. it is a wow.. I specially love their chemistry inside.. and shu qi is really lovable inside.. lol.. her character in the show as a beer girl is so cute.. perharps the best thing that happen in the show is that they got together..

and du wen zhe is so funny inside!! hahaz.. in all the midst of the sad happenings, there is one blur blur, inefficient police officer who is in charge of the murder yet know nothing of the truth.. lol.. it is a good strategy to put him inside.. haaz..

dunno y, it just feels like it is the best movie I have watched for months.. : ) and is moving on to one last dance next.. by francis ng.. haaz..